Tolerance Leads To Resentment. Here’s Why…

Dec 02, 2023

This is true of both men and women in relationships, that if you tolerate the other person for long enough it will turn into resentment.

A man gets resentful and frustrated with his woman when he becomes too scared, too weak, or frankly, too incompetent to deal with her moods.

A man often wishes a woman were easier to deal with.

A woman often wishes a man was more commanding and considerate.

However, it should be said, it’s not entirely her fault that she’s being bitchy and complaining. I’m not excusing a woman’s attitude. It’s just that this is part of the dynamics between men and women.

You as a man, must understand what a woman really needs when she gets emotional. It’s critical for all of your relationships too.

When it’s you’re lady who is cranky with you, it usually means you have dropped the ball somehow. You haven’t followed through on something. You’ve made yourself unavailable and distant or worse, flaky. These behaviors will make a woman irritated.

Some women will tolerate a lot of this, especially if you have many other great qualities that balance this out.

Just like men, you tolerate a woman’s emotional outbursts instead of just getting very still and calm and riding out the storm. You need only state – very clearly – what is going to happen in the situation she is complaining about.

Here’s an example;

Let’s say you’ve planned a trip for the upcoming weekend. She wants to know exactly when you’re going to leave and which route you’re going to take to get there because it will make a difference to her in terms of what she’ll take with her and prepare for.

However, you don’t think those things are important so you leave the time and route up in the air. She asks you a few times during the week. You tell her you’ll get back to her, yet you still leave it. The weekend gets closer and she gets bitchier. Ouch.

Just tell her the god damn time you want to leave and the route you’re going to get there on. That’s it!

Easy fix.

So we just keep tolerating each other in relationships which is guaranteed to lead to resentment. Resentment often leads to break ups when it gets strong enough.

We’ve got to change that.

Below are some tips for men to help you stop tolerating your lady and have some real harmony in relationships.

Sticking with the example above – where you decided not to tell her the time and route for your trip on the weekend – we can determine that part of why she may be irritated with you and perhaps tolerating you is because she sees your brush off of her very simple request as inconsiderate.

When a woman feels like a man is inconsiderate to her she feels like he doesn’t care. If she feels that he is being inconsiderate to her then she may not feel loved.

When that happens she will either leave or stay and be completely miserable with you.

So, this is the danger when a man decides to give up and just tolerate his lady’s moodiness. Ultimately, this is a sign of your weakness. You’re afraid of stirring up an emotional storm. That’s weak. Sorry, but it is gentlemen.

Your attitude has become one of wanting to escape. You want to “Houdini” yourself from women and the world.

That does not bode well for you in relationships or anywhere else. This is contributing to the break down of our society too.

Look, I don’t think a man should tolerate a nagging, complaining, moody lady in his life.

However, he should serve her and love her with every ounce of his skill, perseverance and being.

Then, if she cannot or will not open up to you in love, it may be best to end the relationship.

The fact is, some people (men and women) are never happy. There will be nothing you can do to help them.

However, if you do what you need to as a man and stand your ground calmly and strongly, while harboring no anger or resentment you can more forward knowing you’ve done everything you could.

This may or may not include ending the relationship or staying in the relationship. Either way, you’ve handled yourself in a manly way.. and that’s exactly what we need you to do.